Zuri was 100% planned and took quite a while to conceive. I thought it would never happen but she was well worth the wait.
We are extremely lucky to have a lazy little babe on our hands lol. We lay down around midnight, she usually wakes up around 7 or 8 to eat then falls back asleep until 11ish. She’s been doing this since the first night home. I was concerned but her pediatrician says she’s gaining weight great, so let her sleep as much as she wants! Lol
Alice usually goes to sleep around 10pm and wakes up at 10 or 11 the next morning. I usually go to sleep around 1am or 2am and wake up around the same time.
The twins were planned due to fertility testing.
On average they go to bed at 8pm and wake between 5-7am. Sometimes I can give them bottles at 5 and they go back to sleep…sometimes they don’t.
Dreams - Fleetwood Mac ripped from vinyl
Thunder only happens when it’s raining
As if we don’t have enough to deal with. As if kids and domestic life partners and jobs and uteri aren’t enough of a damn problem, some people think “You didn’t call me back in a timely manner so now I’m mad at you” is a logical addition to the list. We can’t do that to each other. We just can’t.
So behold, the No-Bullshit, No-Drama Friendship Manifesto:
1. I will not get on your case for not texting me back in a timely manner.
2. I will not get on your case for not calling me back in a timely manner.
3. This is because I will soon be the one not calling and texting you back in a timely manner.
4. If you tell me you’re going to call me back “in a few minutes” I understand I may not hear from you for 3 days.
5. I know this is not because you don’t love me.
6. If I need you for real, I will harangue and harass you until you acknowledge me. This process includes, but is not limited to: calling, texting and emailing (repeatedly), instant messaging, tweeting, tagging on Instagram, showing up on doorsteps, actually leaving voicemails (!) and/or contacting spouses.
7. This will not annoy you because you know you’re a fucking flake.
8. This will not annoy me because I know I’m a fucking flake.
9. If you don’t RSVP to my kid’s birthday party for 3 weeks then call the morning of the event and say “Uh, yeah, um, sorry, but can we come?” I’m not going to express profound irritation through a suppressed sigh and deep pause, rather I’m gonna be like “Yeah that’s cool, but do you have any candles? I forgot the effing candles.”
10. And I’m going to be happy you came, because we’re friends.
11. When my kids are acting like shitheads and you’re like “Hey child, No.” I won’t get all righteously indignant. Instead I’ll look at you in gratefulness for dealing with the little bastards so I don’t have to.
12. When you get pissed at your husband, I will agree he is the most sorry d-bag to ever walk the planet and we shall plan for the day when we live on an all-female commune with organic produce, llamas and wool spinning-wheels. And redwood trees. And the ocean.
13. Even if you’re clearly the asshole.
14. When you swear in front of my kids I won’t care. Because obviously.
15. The dinners you make uniformly blow my mind.
16. Whoever has the youngest (or worst behaving child) at the moment gets to make decisions. We all understand that children are often foul, insane little creatures and it needn’t even be mentioned that we DON’T BLAME YOU.
17. Maybe your house is clean. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe who gives a rat’s ass?
18. When I say something stupid that could be conveyed as insulting or whatever, you’re not going to get all overly sensitive and weird, calling mutual friends and psycho-analyzing what, exactly, my problem is (probably going back to childhood), rather you’re going to call me out on it and then I’m going to apologize and we’re going to move on, LIKE ADULTS, because occasionally adults say stupid shit, the end.
19. When you say something stupid, I’ll either do number 18 or, and I know this is revolutionary, I’LL LET IT GO.
20. We tell each other the truth (except the asshole part when fighting with domestic life partners).
21. When my jeans are sagging, you’re going to lovingly take me shopping. Or you’re going to not notice. These are the only two options.
22. The only time I’m going to one-up you is to prove I’ve screwed up worse than the time you’re currently feeling terribly about.
23. I will not give helpful parenting advice. You will not give helpful parenting advice. WE ALL HATE THE MOM WITH HELPFUL PARENTING ADVICE.
24. I understand that “on time” means “not as late as I usually am.”
25. When our conversation gets interrupted nineteen hundred and forty seven times by one kid or another and that thing I was going to say that was so funny and interesting is forgotten entirely, I won’t get hurt feelings.
26. When I borrow a baby item, don’t return it, then, 2 years later, when you ask for it back and I’m like “Yeah I don’t think we have that anymore,” you’re like “oh okay” but then, 4 months later, when I find it in a bin in my garage, you’re like “It’s cool.”
27. Because we’re both fucking flakes, except when it matters.
And we’ll know when it matters, because WE ARE FRIENDS.”
This is exactly why I treasure my mom friends.
I needed this today! Be my friend ok!(via subversiveparenting) Getting more of this from tumblr right now but looking forward to making more friends here… (via bumblemama)
Jamberry nail wraps offer the hottest trend in fashion. Wrap your nails in over 300 different designs.
Hey ladies! I did a Facebook party for these wraps and since my consultant is keeping the party open a couple days longer, I thought I’d reach out here and see if anyone is interested in purchasing some. I’m about $20 away from my next hostess discount and would really appreciate any additional orders!
There are a ton of designs to choose from and the wraps last on your nails for 2 weeks! 4 weeks on toes! It’s a nice change from gel nails (which still damage your nails when you remove the polish) and you can do them right in your home with no drying time necessary!
If you have any questions, my ask is open :)
Look at what the fuck we got in the mail this morning. Less than a month away until the dopest cookbook ever drops.
Preorder your copy now or get left behind this fall.
Ok, normally I’m all “blah blah blah, don’t talk to me about Christmas” but y’all, this is going on my Christmas list. Pretty sure I NEED it.
So I don’t forget
Holy shit, I just found Jeremy’s Christmas gift. haha